Sunday, April 27, 2014

Oh IT Band, you're breaking my heart.

Missing you....always ! For my KIds Chuck, Matt, and Kyla. Also my grandchildren William, J.D., Timmy and Andria ( Peanut ) Love you all Granny!! :)

After those few laps around the playground on Monday, I was feeling like I was on the cusp of my comeback.  On Tuesday, I literally dusted off my 20 year old roller blades, which my husband informed me have been sitting under the work table in our garage since we moved into our house...six years ago.  I had to evict a few spiders that were living inside and jerry rig the top strap on the left skate, but once I had them on, I felt half my age.  Pushing Camryn in the jogging stroller brought me right back to 35, but man was it fun skating the boardwalk again!


I was tempted to skate the entire length of the boardwalk and back, but I knew skating with the stroller into the wind on the way back would be pretty tough and turned around at King Neptune instead.  It was an invigorating four miles, and it felt so good to do something that was physically challenging that didn't cause pain in my knee.  

I also managed to get through a P90X3 plyometric workout on Wednesday, and there wasn't much I had to modify either.  Squatting, lunging, and even jumping felt fine, and I iced when I was finished as a precaution.  I got through all of my exercises at PT on Friday feeling great, and was given permission to hop on the treadmill for a few minutes before I sat for ice and my ionto patch.  That lasted all of .3 miles before my knee started bugging me.  For the love...

Roller coasters, especially, the Dragon Coaster at Rye Playland.

And that's just how this week has been.  A roller coaster ride of feeling great, then feeling like I have made absolutely no progress whatsoever.  Running Brynn to the bus stop because it came early?  Felt great!  Riding my beach cruiser on a gloriously sunny day?  Ouch.  P90X3's MMX workout?  Felt great!  Running a .4 mile loop around my neighborhood?  Ouch.  What gives???  I'm frustrated at home...it's torture seeing Ryan rack up the miles while I pack on the pounds.  I'm frustrated at PT...I'm progressing with the exercises, yet I still feel no improvement.  

My poor kids are even being dragged into this...I made Brynn run a test drive around the block with me this morning.  For one, I enjoyed her company.  Secondly, her presence kept me from throwing a hissy fit once pain started creeping in.  And third, maybe my neighbors would think I was running slowly because my kid was with me.  Yeah, that's it...she totally slowed me down.  But Brynn was a good sport, and she seems eager to help me feel better.  She really could have a bright future in the medical field, as evidenced by her deep tissue massage skills:


That girl can dig an elbow into a glute like a champ!  You can borrow her, but it'll cost you.  

I'm not sure what else I could or should be doing.  "Time" seems to be the four letter word I keep hearing the most, so I guess I'll have to work on that whole patience thing.  Not my forte.  My one request, however, is this:

Ha ha, this is what you feel like when you are injured. If you can't run, no one else should!

Thanks much.

Tuesday, April 22, 2014

A little bit softer now

A day that starts with this delivered to your front door can't end badly:

It just can't.  It's science.  

I was really looking forward to today.  Spring Break was a nice reprieve from the hustle and bustle of the school week, but after days and days of being stuck indoors, I think we all needed a little bit of breathing room to call our own.  So Ryan went off to work, the girls went off to school, and I went off to take care of business.

You see, I've been carrying this dirty little secret around with me for the better part of a week, and I couldn't wait to let the cat out of the bag.  After feeling zero pain in my knee with daily activities and even some P90X for two solid weeks, I decided to make today the day I'd give this leg a test drive.  After all, it is Marathon Monday.  I was as nervous as one would be when meeting an ex after years apart.  I put on my favorite sports bra and laced up my pretty new Brooks.  I put on my watch, which I realized was frozen in time since the last time I ran:



The weather wasn't the 65 and sunny I envisioned our reunion to be, but instead a blustery 46 degrees and cloudy.  I drove to the oceanfront and was greeted by 30 mph wind gusts and an angry ocean:



Figures.  But I was so happy to be out there, and I had my sights set on the pier.  There and back would have been around 2 miles, which I thought would be a respectable maiden voyage.  After a good dynamic warm up, I hit start on my watch and headed north.  

A block later, I walked.  Much to my disbelief, that signature stabbing pain of IT band syndrome started just one friggin' block into my run.  It's like my ex stood me up.  How is that even possible???  How could it start hurting earlier into a run now - after five weeks off, courses of anti-inflammatory meds, and good old fashioned TLC - than it did at the height of the injury?  Beyond frustrating.  But better to test it out and see what happens while I'm still in the capable hands of Carl and company at physical therapy.

The pain stopped as soon as I stopped running, which I guess I can consider progress, and I quickly walked back to my car and out of the cold.  I drowned my sorrows in jelly beans and headed to PT.  It was really the perfect place for me to be at that very moment, as seeing other patients work to regain range of motion and strength for simple daily tasks wouldn't allow me to wallow in my nonsense of "boo hoo, I can't run."  No other aspect of my life is physically affected by this injury, so I will not voice my frustrations in earshot of those people.  Carl added a little manual therapy to my repertoire, and I left feeling as though it's not as bad as it seems.

Kids needed to be picked up from school, groceries had to be purchased, and soccer practice had to be attended, so it was on with my day with no time for self pity.  I ran with Camryn from the playground to the spot where her practice was, and I felt no pain in the knee.  Interesting.  It was farther than the block that caused pain earlier in the morning, but it was on grass instead of the concrete boardwalk.  Since I consider my body to be one big science experiment, I decided to try running a lap around the perimeter of the park.  I grabbed Brynn and made her tag along, as I knew if she was with me, I wouldn't get as mad if things didn't go well.  

One lap around, no pain.  Not wanting to press my luck, I stopped after a lap.  That didn't last long, so I tried another lap in the opposite direction.  No pain.  REALLY???  Did that just happen???  After another few minutes of rest, I switched directions for another lap.  No pain.  I don't really like odd numbers, so I played a little frisbee with Brynn and had her run my fourth and final lap with me.  I didn't feel pain or even discomfort, really, but I felt something by the end of the fourth lap and knew it was time to stop.  Since I was doubtful I'd be able to complete one lap, I was totally fine with stopping after four.  Maybe I need to start out on softer surfaces while I continue to strengthen this hip...it means I'll have to be a little more creative when planning my routes, but I can handle that.

I'm not sure exactly how far each lap was, but Ryan and I guessed it could be almost a half mile.  Four laps would be about 2 miles (don't be hatin' on my math skills now), which is what I was hoping I'd do as I set out at the oceanfront this morning.  I suppose a cold, windy, solo run isn't what the running gods had in store for my first couple of miles back.  Having my big girl beside me with a view of my little nugget playing soccer was a much better way to start.  


Trust the process.  So true as I'm still living in a bit of chaos...

Saturday, April 19, 2014

I feel a whoomp comin' on!

Normally I'm like the rest of the working population, eagerly awaiting Friday's arrival and wishing Monday wouldn't get here so fast.  This week, however, I think I might welcome Monday with open arms.  The girls have been on Spring Break this week, and with the exception of the first weekend, the weather has been less than stellar.  It's basically been 50 degrees and raining all week, and today is no exception.  I've really had to bring my A-game to entertain these kids, whose friends have either been out of town or sick with the stomach bug.  They tagged along to physical therapy with me on Tuesday, and we've been regulars in the rec center pool.  We've watched Frozen twice, along with Despicable Me 2, Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs 2, and they're watching The Sandlot as we speak.  Not the week of fun in the sun I had envisioned this time last week.

Spring break was off to such a promising start.  We kicked it off with ice cream with friends right after school on Friday, and continued with sun-filled soccer games, s'mores by the fire at my brother's 30th birthday roast, and a bike ride at a Virginia Beach boardwalk that had every element of a summer day (minus the golden tans on its patrons).  


We did a little yard work at our house and our neighbor's, and it felt as though we were coming out of hibernation:


When the weather took at turn for the worse, we had to get creative:



Brynn had the bright idea of going snorkeling in the bathtub one afternoon, and I was all for it.  She even fashioned the snorkel gear out of her mask and a plastic golf club.  A for effort.

We checked out the only roller rink in town for the first time ever, and a good time was had by all (some of us with the skating, others with the indoor playground because they weren't good at skating the first time they tried...imagine that):



My physical therapy clinic is right across from Trader Joe's, so I popped in to get some snacks for us for the week.  Since I can't be in Mexico for spring break, at least I can eat like I am with these black bean and cheese taquitos, complete with salsa verde:


I've been the best PT patient ever, diligently completing my exercises on the days I don't have therapy.  One of my favorites is this total butt burner, where you press your knee out against a somewhat flat ball while doing a one-legged bridge:


Hold for five seconds and feel the burn!  I've been feeling really good with all of the strengthening I've been doing, and I'm having no pain with regular activities.  I feel like I'm on the cusp of running again, which has me excited and nervous at the same time.  Excited because...well, that goes without explanation!  And nervous because I really, really, really don't want it to hurt and have to take more time off.  Regardless, I figured I'd start fresh...I've been a long time Asics wearer in the past, but I think mentally I needed to switch it up.  Bittersweet, as now I won't match these Fancy little feet anymore:


But I've heard nothing but good things and have read nothing but good reviews about these beautiful babes, so I hit up Running Etc. and got myself a gorgeous pair of the Brooks Ghost 6.


So pretty!  They even have that new shoe smell...ahhhhhhhh!  I keep them right by my bedside table and I get excited about wearing them every time I catch a glimpse.  When that will be is still TBD, but I think I'm close...stay tuned!

Monday, April 14, 2014

Keeps getting better

Last week was a great week.  I was essentially pain free, and I got in a few great workouts that have gotten those endorphins flowing again.  I feel like I've turned a corner, and things are looking up. I've got a little more pep in my step, and I'm starting to feel like myself again - not the crankier version I've been sporting the past few weeks.   I went to physical therapy twice and did the exercises in my own on the days in between.  I had three solid, pain-free stationary bike sessions that did wonders for my mind, even if they were dreadfully boring.  Yesterday's 7 miles at the oceanfront on the beach cruisers was like heaven.  Don't get me wrong...runner envy is still right at the surface as people come out of the woodworks to get a little exercise in the gorgeous weather we've had lately, but I don't want to kill them anymore.  Yay!  I can imagine myself running in the near future, and I'm starting to daydream about where my first run will take place.  Then I try to convince myself that daydreaming about a run is totally normal.

The Shamrock was four weeks ago, and I haven't run since.  I've been in pain and haven't been able to do everything I'd like to do either for myself or with my kids.  I've experienced anger, frustration, and just plain sadness.  Several people have asked me if running the marathon was worth it.  Oh my God, YES!!!  Without hesitation, absolutely definitely yes.  


There will be days you don't think you can run a marathon. There will be a lifetime of knowing you have.


I don't know if I'll ever go through this process again, and I feel like I had come too far to back out because of a little pain.  After all, it was a marathon...if it were easy, everyone would do it.  Now I know I can do it, and I did it when I wasn't at my best.  It makes me really excited to think about what I can accomplish once I'm healthy again.  I think I'm just about ready to start setting some goals...not with any specific races in mind, as I want my focus to remain on fixing this body...but I'm ready to think about what I'd like to accomplish for certain distances this year.  Training for the marathon taught me that I have it in me to put in the work, even in the most ridiculous of weather conditions and stressful of circumstances.  For now, I just have to stick with the rehab program and know that each good day is one day closer to running again.   It has me feeling a bit like a caged animal, ready to get out and go ape shit, but I'll save it for that first run, sometime soon!

Monday, April 7, 2014

Your love is like a roller coaster, baby baby

I dropped Camryn off at preschool today with great haste, so as not to be late for my physical therapy appointment.  I managed a quick jog through the rain from the building to my car, and was pleasantly surprised that I felt absolutely nothing at my knee.  I'd be lying if I told you this thought did not cross my mind:

If I can run to the car, surely I can log a few easy miles, right???  

I checked my phone once I got in the car (compulsive habit), and saw that my Mile Post quote of the day had arrived:

kara goucher quotes.  advice.  wisdom.  life lessons.  healthy changes.

I know, I know... 

Simmer down now!!!!

Saturday and Sunday's discomfort with easy activity had me feeling down, but today felt like a small step in the right direction.  I worked with Carl today, which was great for several reasons:

1)  His name is Carl.  So the Englishman in the office calls him Cahhhhl.  So I think of Karl.

Karl Pilkington = love

And I smile.

2)  He used Office Space references to explain to the tech what she needed to do with another patient.  I'm 99% sure she had no idea what a TPS report is.

3)  He will not coddle me.  Which is great, because I'm ready to work.  Three weeks of rest has me going batty, and I need to feel like I'm doing something that will create progress.  

I did various calisthenics to strengthen me arse, and I can only hope I'll be sore tomorrow.  We finished up with some ice and an iontophoresis patch, which is a fancy way to deliver an anti-inflammatory medication directly to the injured area using electric current.  Sounds way more bad ass than it is.



Since I had some time and was so close, I decided to hop over to Whole Foods to see what all the fuss is about.  You heard that right...still hadn't been there, so a kidless morning seemed like the right time to check it out.  I wandered around aimlessly for a while, just checking out all the neat stuff they had in the bulk section.  I made my way over to the granola aisle and found my new favorite snack:


Behold Raspberry Beret trail mix.  Peanuts, almonds, cashews, dark chocolate chips, and dried raspberries.  Sweet, salty, chewy, crunchy, and a punny name thrown in for good measure make this the perfect treat for me.  I also picked up a reasonably priced jar of tahini for all of the hummus and the sweet potato burgers I plan to make this spring.  I was tempted to try one of their cannolis (filled right there on the spot), but the patch on my leg reminded me I will not be burning off cannoli calories any time soon, and I stepped away from the bakery.  Whole Foods has aisles of interesting items that would be fun to sample, but my shallow pockets will have to keep shopping at Walmart if I plan to keep this family both fed AND clothed.  

Since the knee hasn't bothered me at all today, I decided to give the bike at the rec center a try while Camryn was in swim lessons.  20 pain-free minutes of rolling hills later, I dismounted victoriously onto wobbly legs.  Great success!!!  I had to get out of there with enough time to stretch and have Camryn see me watch her for the last few minutes of class, but also because if I watched any more of the Sports Center coverage of Derek Jeter's last opening day at Yankee Stadium, I was going to start crying right there in front of all those Silver Sneakers on the treadmills.  

Derek Jeter

Oh Captain, my Captain.  

Anyway, the takeaway from today's events was that each day is apparently different when it comes to this knee.  It's been a physical and emotional roller coaster ride.  I will do what I can with what each day gives me, and today gave me two rounds of P90X3 Total Synergistics, PT, and some action on the stationary bike.  I am thrilled.  If tomorrow is even half as good as today, I'll be happier than this guy:

  Comic by Natalie Dee: pig in shit


Sunday, April 6, 2014

Said woman, take it slow

Can I get an Amen?! But I should clearly be in Olympic athlete shape at this point! ;)

I was out and about (or if your native tongue is Canadian, "oot and aboot") running errands on Friday, making the whiny noise I make when I see people running, which sounds a lot like "mehhhhh" and is accompanied by a really ugly face.  I had a few choice words for Mother Nature for making me train through the most ridiculous winter on record for Virginia Beach, only to taunt me with 60+ degrees and sunny this week.  Guns n' Roses' "Patience" came on the radio.  Twice.  Which can only mean either Axl Rose died, or the radio gods are sending me a message.  Pretty sure Axl is alive and well (?), so message received.  Things'll be just fine.

I started physical therapy on Friday, which is thankfully giving me something to focus on and look forward to now that my weekly miles are no longer on the calendar.  During my evaluation, my therapist told me that my glute strength wasn't terrible.  I'll take that as a small victory, as I have not (literally) worked my ass off to not have strong glutes.  There's definitely a discrepancy between the left and right sides, so hopefully once we get that sorted out, it'll be all systems go.  Upon palpation, it seems as though I have a bit more of a bony prominence on the left side where the IT band crosses the knee, which could explain why it became so irritated in the first place.  Not much I can do about that, so we'll just have to cross our fingers that knocking out the inflammation and strengthening the involved musculature will get me back in my running shoes before too long.  

In the meantime, I'll be doing whatever exercise I can do pain free.  I'm still not 100% in love with P90X3.  I am enjoying doing some new exercises, but I don't have the feeling of accomplishment after 30 minutes that I did after the 60 minutes of the other P90X programs.  Making some decisions this week on how to proceed.  

The knee has been feeling less cranky with regular daily activities, so I was hoping that the elliptical and biking would be a possibility this week.  However, yesterday was a bit of a blow to moral, as I started feeling discomfort only a mile into a ride on the beach cruiser.  Considering there is barely any resistance on that bike (I had Camryn in tow, but that kid pulls what little weight she has with some hard core pedaling!), I'm not all that optimistic about getting in a good workout on a stationary bike either.  Swimming is an option, but I just.  Don't.  Want to.  I suck at it.  It's inconvenient.  It's time consuming.  I suck at it.  

Another thing that isn't helping the psyche is the number of runners I follow on social media.  Seeing pictures of people's Garmins and hearing about how they kicked ass in their latest race or workout is torturous.  I should just unplug and end the heartache, but I've been routing for these people to succeed and I enjoy hearing their success stories, so I just can't bring myself to do it.  To try to turn my envy into inspiration, I tell myself that most of them have been where I am right now, and they've managed to come back and kill it.  I will do the same, all I need is just a little patience.  

Axl Rose - King of the Bandanna