I need one of those status updates that reads "Marked safe from her firstborn's senior year of high school." There were several times during this past school year that I thought to myself, "I need to write a blog post about this." Our experience with the college application and selection process was ours alone, but I definitely learned a lot along the way and know how helpful it is to hear stories from people who have made it to the other side. In a perfect world, I would have written it long before mid-July, but if you are now a parent of a rising high school senior, you'll understand in about a year from now. This is not a carefully curated list of lessons learned, but a mosaic of muddled memories my mind is actually allowing me to recall. Here goes.
Senior year goes by SO FUCKING FAST.
I knew it would fly by. But I wasn't expecting to be in Ludicrous Speed from start to finish. I knew once the school year started at the end of August, it was a runaway train until the last stop of graduation in June. I wanted to throw myself off a time or two, but you really just need to hold on for dear life and try to enjoy the ride a little yourself.
Senior year is SO FUCKING EXPENSIVE.
And its starts in July. Senior portraits, where prints are literally FOUR TIMES the cost of your sophomore's prints. Parking spot permit. Permit to paint said parking spot. Paint to paint said parking spot. AP exams. College applications (FYI, some states quietly have a week in the fall where they waive application fees, typically it's after your child has submitted all of their applications at $50+ a pop). College visits. College acceptance deposits. College housing deposits. Printer ink, paper, envelopes, and postage to send scholarship applications to organizations stuck in the 1900s. Yearbook. Senior night festivities for sports team. Prom tickets. Prom outfit. Dinner before prom. Cap and gown. Honors stole. Post-graduation party. And lots of little things you simply can't say no to because senior year has your poor little mama heart by the balls.
Your child's senior year will age you in dog years.
Maybe it's just me though. We went into Brynn's senior year in the midst of some challenging times for our family...the death of a parent and the endless tasks that follow, the other parent needing more assistance than you realized because you were focused on the one with Parkinson's, a brother who had a stroke in his 40s. While these circumstances may be specific to me, if you have an 18 year old child, chances are you also have parents who are getting older. "The Sandwich Generation" is the euphemism someone coined for this delightful time in a middle aged person's life. A shit sandwich if I've ever eaten one. I don't say this to be alarmist. I say this to say you will want to give your graduating child 100% because a) they deserve it, and b) you have suddenly realized they'll be gone way sooner than you'll ever be ready to let them go. But if you are unable to give them that 100% because you're spread thin in the middle of that shit sandwich, give yourself some grace. What you're doing is SO HARD.
Expect unexpected attacks of overwhelming emotion.
Thankfully mine usually occurred when I was alone in the car or in the shower. But sometimes the mere mention of graduation in casual conversation was enough to open the tear ducts. It can come out of nowhere, and sometimes there's no discernable trigger you can pinpoint, but there are plenty of events throughout the year where you know you're going to struggle and you can prepare yourself, if even just a little bit. My go-to prep for these occasions was always listening to Metallica. A little headbanging clears those feels out pretty good and toughens you up to face whatever "last" you're about to experience with your kid.
You can do this.
You'll wonder how you can keep this pace until June. You'll be more physically and mentally and emotionally exhausted than you've ever been...and you've had a newborn, remember?! Try to see this year through your senior's excited eyes instead of your drooping, exhausted eyelids. To say this year is bittersweet is a gross understatement, but try to focus mostly on the sweet and not so much on the bitter. Allow yourself to feel the feels, big and small. Commiserate with your fellow senior parents who are in it with you, and reach out to those who have been through it already. They are a great resource, not only for tips and tricks on the process, but they can also provide perspective. When our spotlight is focused on our own kid, hearing other people's experiences can be the floodlight that helps us see a much bigger picture, and sometimes lights a path we didn't know was an option. You will cross the finish line. You may not be upright. If you're lucky, you'll have people dragging you across, but you will cross the finish line. And you will be so proud of your graduate that the heart you've spent 18 years toughening up will just explode.
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