Won't back down

 Here we are, less than two weeks away from the Shamrock Half Marathon, and I'm finally starting to feel like something has clicked.  And all it took was one little word.  

Tentative.

I've had the good fortune and the pleasure of getting in a few runs this training cycle with one of the area's best runners.  Before that, we'd talked shop til we were blue in the face, but it's simply not the same as having someone actually run with you.  She paced me through a couple of tough tempo runs where the wind was like a big brother's hand on your forehead, keeping you in place no matter how hard you tried to push forward and give him hell.  Wanting to prove I'm worthy of her company on a run, I know I pushed harder than I would have if I had been solo, which can only translate into strength deposited into the training bank to be withdrawn on race day.   I was able to pick her brain about bad race habits of mine  (during the warm up and cool down, of course, as I was struggling for breath to keep up with her easy stride during the tempo portion of those runs), and she gave me little pointers about good running form and visual cues to remember when things get tough.  And while she's encouraging when I'm being hard on myself (usually when I'm struggling to keep the pace outlined in my training plan), there's little sugar coating involved.  Which brings me back to that word.

Tentative.

Talk about an aha moment when you need one.  I think earlier in this training cycle, I had myself convinced I was taking this on with a laid back approach to training.  But in stark contrast, I set an ambitious goal for myself.  With each run, I found myself jumping back and forth between "This could be possible" and "Yeah, that's not a realistic goal for this race, ya big dummy."  And then I read (and re-read and re-read) my friend's text.

You're being tentative.

Tentative.  As in uncertain.  Obviously.  But also as in holding back.  Playing it safe.  That mentality was fine in the beginning of the fall race season when I was just starting to feel like myself again after the IT band debacle.  But in the past three-plus months of training, my body has sent up no red flags to tell me to hold back.  To play it safe.  So why was I still doing those things?  Why hold back when I feel strong, healthy, and have a goal that's maybe even a little within reach if I dig deep?

So tentative got tossed and tenacious has taken its place.  I've attacked every workout for the past two weeks, and I'm relearning how to be comfortable with being uncomfortable.  I realize that 1:39:xx is still a tall order and will require all the stars to align on race day, but I'm no longer scared to try.  My B goal is a PR, which after Saturday's 12 miler (on cold, tired legs and sans pre-run coffee and mid-run GU) seems completely within reach.  My C goal is to put forth a solid effort and let the chips fall where they may.  But if you believe in magic...

"Magic 8 Ball, will I run a sub-1:40 at Shamrock this year?"