Boo. Disappointment, in my opinion, is one of the yuckiest feelings we can experience. You visualize what you want to happen, what you think can happen. You get your hopes up. You get excited. You wait for an answer (and in some cases, you wait and wait and wait). You get your answer. It's not what you wanted. You pout. Or is that just me?
Back in June, our local race directors posted a call for applicants for their ambassador program on Facebook. Here's a brief description from the J&A website:
"We are looking for energetic, socially influential and loyal supporters of J&A Racing to be a part of our 2014/2015 J&A Racing Ambassador Team. As an Ambassador, you will help us promote and market our races, both locally and regionally."
The ambassadors' responsibilities included putting in some hours at race expos, running in local races in J&A gear (that they provided...sweet!), and using social media to spread the word about their races. Aside from the expos, I already do all that! The position also came with some perks, like three free race entries during the year that you're an ambassador, and extra race gear and swag. I applied immediately.
I got the disappointing news today that I was not selected as one of this year's ambassadors.
J&A sent a lovely email explaining they had an overwhelming number of applicants and
ended up with more qualified candidates than they could accept. There goes my balloon,
whizzing around the room as the all the air comes rushing out. Obviously the perks were fantastic, but I was really hoping that being a J&A ambassador would help bring me out of my shell as a runner and as a person in general. It fit so perfectly into my goal of becoming more social with my running, and I'm so bummed it's not in the cards for me right now.
So of course with rejection comes the wondering. Wondering if there's something else I should have written on the application to "sell" myself. Wondering what those who were selected wrote to set them apart from the rest. Wondering if the reason they rejected me is the very same reason I'd be a great fit.
Socially influential. Those words keep buzzing around in my head. It's not exactly something I'd consider myself to be. I mean, I'm active on social media (perhaps even overactive at times) and I have a blog with an extremely modest following, made up mostly of my mom and my best friend - even my most read posts only garner around 100 views. That suits me just fine...I write it for me, so if I get one read per post I'm perfectly happy. Would a bigger blog following have made a difference?
One of the questions on the application was "Do you belong to a gym?" I answered honestly, no. We are a one income family, and most of our expendable cash goes toward extra-curricular activities for our kids - soccer, a week of summer day camp, our annual ski weekend, and summer camping trips. We also set some of our budget aside for races, and when you have anywhere between two and four members of your household participating, it gets a little pricey. But we all enjoy those races and they keep us motivated to live a healthy and active lifestyle, so we make it work. I'd say it's a safe bet that there are plenty of other families who do the same. I don't feel I sacrifice a thing by not belonging to a gym, but maybe not having that social influence to promote J&A races was a bit of a deal breaker when compared with other applicants.
And while we're on the topic of being budget-conscious, it takes one glance at me to know I run J&A races...some days, their swag makes up my entire wardrobe! From shirts to hats, jackets to beach towels, I use them all. Why pay for a hat to run in when I get one every time I finish a Shamrock race? Why buy a sleeping bag for camping when I have this great fleece blanket from that half marathon I finished? Last year's Wicked and Surf 'n' Santa shirts are staples in my cool weather wardrobe, and they are quite the conversation starters. "Why yes, I did run that race. It was a lot of fun...you should try one!" Run a few races, and you have enough clothing to get you through a week of running at no added expense. Those ladies and gents in a higher tax bracket won't think twice about forking over a week's worth of lattes for a race, but when it comes to convincing the little guy it's a worthwhile expense, I believe I could be of influence.
I thought I would have heard if I'd been selected for an ambassador position a little earlier than today, so I sent J&A a Facebook message this afternoon to see if I was definitely out. A message I sent to them earlier in the year popped up, and it took the sting out of the disappointment I was already starting to feel. Last November, J&A was promoting their Valentine's Day race, the Virginia is for Lovers 14k. They wanted to hear stories of people's love affair with running, so I shared mine:
"I’m not sure when my love affair with running started, but I do know that J&A Racing has been instrumental in its cultivation. Growing up, I was a gymnast, not a runner. My body has always been short and compact, not long and lean like the runners you see on tv. I didn’t run in the cold…it burned my lungs. I didn’t run in the heat…it just plain sucked. I didn’t run in the rain…because why on earth would you??? I am not a runner. That’s what I thought.
My first race ever was the Shamrock 8K in 2007, 4 months after the birth of my first child. My husband ran cross country in high school, and after I had taken to running a few miles here and there to shed some baby weight, he convinced me to run the 8K with him. I averaged just under a 10 minute/mile pace and felt really good about myself afterward. I guess you could say I caught the racing bug and wanted more. I’ve participated in a Shamrock event every year since, even when 5 months pregnant with my second child (and beat my first 8K time, by the way!).
Then J&A started adding all these other races to the calendar. 10K’s, 14K’s, 10 milers. I thought those distances were insane. I’d never do any of those. And there’s no way you’ll get me to run the Shamrock half marathon. I’m not a distance runner. I couldn’t possibly. That’s what I thought. Then I ran 6 miles one day. And I didn’t die. So I convinced myself to try the Wicked. And eventually I tried the Virginia is for Lovers. Then I did the Shamrock half marathon. And I didn’t do half bad…could it be that maybe I am a runner???
Being the somewhat competitive person (ok, the really competitive person!) that I am, I just wanted to do better and better in every race I entered, so I’ve worked harder and harder to improve my times. I’ve found a level of self-discipline with my weight training and running that I wasn’t sure I was capable of, and having my husband right there with me at the start and my daughters cheering me on at the finish of these races are all the all the motivation I need to keep trying harder. Now I run in the cold…it dulls the pain. I run in the heat…it makes my post-run iced coffee taste that much better. I run in the rain, snow, and wind…it makes me feel like I’ve earned that hot shower. I signed up for the 2014 Shamrock Marathon because I AM A RUNNER. That’s what I think now. And I have J&A to thank for planting the seed."
The thing is, my story is not unique. There are countless women and men whose love story with running sounds very similar. But there are people out there whose story hasn't even begun yet, and I think those are the people J&A wants their ambassadors to influence. I was hoping that through being a J&A Ambassador, I'd get the chance to put the pen in these people's hands. After re-reading my own message from back in November, I realized I don't need a title or perks to do that. I may not be socially influential on any grand scale, but I can still be an ambassador of living, loving, and running to the people who influence me.
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