Last week was a great week. I was essentially pain free, and I got in a few great workouts that have gotten those endorphins flowing again. I feel like I've turned a corner, and things are looking up. I've got a little more pep in my step, and I'm starting to feel like myself again - not the crankier version I've been sporting the past few weeks. I went to physical therapy twice and did the exercises in my own on the days in between. I had three solid, pain-free stationary bike sessions that did wonders for my mind, even if they were dreadfully boring. Yesterday's 7 miles at the oceanfront on the beach cruisers was like heaven. Don't get me wrong...runner envy is still right at the surface as people come out of the woodworks to get a little exercise in the gorgeous weather we've had lately, but I don't want to kill them anymore. Yay! I can imagine myself running in the near future, and I'm starting to daydream about where my first run will take place. Then I try to convince myself that daydreaming about a run is totally normal.
The Shamrock was four weeks ago, and I haven't run since. I've been in pain and haven't been able to do everything I'd like to do either for myself or with my kids. I've experienced anger, frustration, and just plain sadness. Several people have asked me if running the marathon was worth it. Oh my God, YES!!! Without hesitation, absolutely definitely yes.
I don't know if I'll ever go through this process again, and I feel like I had come too far to back out because of a little pain. After all, it was a marathon...if it were easy, everyone would do it. Now I know I can do it, and I did it when I wasn't at my best. It makes me really excited to think about what I can accomplish once I'm healthy again. I think I'm just about ready to start setting some goals...not with any specific races in mind, as I want my focus to remain on fixing this body...but I'm ready to think about what I'd like to accomplish for certain distances this year. Training for the marathon taught me that I have it in me to put in the work, even in the most ridiculous of weather conditions and stressful of circumstances. For now, I just have to stick with the rehab program and know that each good day is one day closer to running again. It has me feeling a bit like a caged animal, ready to get out and go ape shit, but I'll save it for that first run, sometime soon!
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